In grief, our brains must rewire to function in a world minus our loved one.
When in grief, what happens to neurons that developed specifically to respond to the presence of the loved one?
By avoiding painful feelings, you do not give your brain the opportunity to learn to manage them.
In The Book of Joy: Lasting Happiness in a Changing World, co-author (with the Dalai Lama and Desmond Tutu) and narrator Douglas Carlton Abrams tells a story about his father, who suffered a brain injury. It was touch and go for a while, but when he came around, his other son said to him, “I’m sorry this happened to you.”
And the father responded. “It’s OK. It’s part of my curriculum.”
It’s part of my curriculum.
A useful metaphor for life, and for grief.
Link to article: Rewiring the Brain in Grief | Psychology Today